KISS

“A man who kisses his wife goodbye before leaving for work receives a bigger pay cheque,”reads an article in the newspaper. And, more importantly, it clearly mentions “His Wife”.

Dear Government male servants, this is not for you. It is definitely not for you. Remember, no matter, how capable, smart or a workaholic you are, you are not going to get your promotion on that basis. You are always in “Queue”, the very long queue of seniors ahead of you whether they deserve it or not. Remember the advertisement which says, “When will my number come?” and the reply given is, “It will surely come, will surely come”, is madethinking of you guys’ predicament.So, despite your mode of promotion, your pay chequeisundergoing a steady increase of nearly 3 % on your basic pay every year, irrespective of whether you kiss your wife or not.

Now,all those guysworking in the private sector, all this while I thought you have to show your capabilities extensively by workinghard for your yearly evaluation, standing out by playing tactics to achieve a giant pay cheque. Now,if you go by the article mentioned above, you will come to know that you have been given a magic wand.Now, things are pretty simple, just a kiss will get back all that you have missed.

Guys,don’t rejoice as yet. There is a clause and that clause is “wife”. And, a wife comes with the baggage of a very famous institution called “Marriage”. All those guys out there, who have decided to remain Single forever and live happily ever after, this is a big jolt to your decision. You have to re-think your option for a bigger pay cheque. Now, I know what you are thinking, you have a girlfriend or a live-in who is equally irritating and intimidating as a wife should be. But, that doesn’t equal to living with a wife. A girlfriend or a live-in can be chucked out, but if you try to throw out a wife, she will go away with a big alimony and a bigger sympathy factor. So, the underlying meaning is simple, live with a wife, learn patience and to sustain a job in private, you require an enormous amount of the same. It shows that forget family, relatives and society, even corporates do not want to see you living happily in your single status.

Guys out there, who are married. Let’s imagine a guy by any name, whose onlyroutine is morning walks, fitness,readingnewspaper, fresh up, eat breakfast and rush to his office, suddenly starts kissing his wife before leaving for the office, how would her reaction be? Will she accept the peck which you term as kiss in all its fullness and love? No, she will try to read more to this new adventure of yours, because for her, every gesture of yours has an underlying meaning.So, any change in your behaviour from the routine is definitely going to put you in trouble. She may accuse you of starting to have a peg or two in the wee hours of morningor even go to the extent of telling that you are having an affair with a colleague.Here,‘wifey’ is accusing you of doing something which you always wanted to do, but was not successful. Can there be a stab more painful than that? So, all the very best for convincing wife on the newly formed morning activity of a “New You”. I would only say, guys “Any new movement”, at your risk.

Neethu Shaju